I think I’m actually starting to get pissed.
I don’t like negative posts and i oftentimes try to spin my rants positively, but I guess sometimes it is just easier to confront the issue I am facing and work through what I think about it by putting it all down.
I’d say I have been pretty chill about a lot of things that usually irritate me. Or perhaps they bother me, but I restrain myself and my thoughts in order to be sensitive. I have been trying to be compassionate and empathetic towards the people around me - many of whom seem to be at their breaking points. I try to agree when I can, hold my tongue when I want to scold, keep battle arms at bay when I desperately wish to interfere. It takes so much for me to hold back punching some sense into your gut. It takes even more to keep me from beating you to a pulp for not valuing your own worth and your existence.
However, there just comes a pinnacle in my own concern where I realize that no matter how hard I work, nothing will change. And stupid decision after stupid decision will be made, with or without my relentless care. Are they even stupid? They may be idiotic to me, stupid decisions I will never make, but could mean the world to someone else. If so, who am I to say which choice is right and which is wrong?
I have a certain idea about the world and how we interact with it. I have learned to always put friends before anything and I have learned that what my parents think of me and how much time I spend with my family are both very important. I’ve learned age is only a number and maturity is difficult to come by for those who refuse to acknowledge their flaws and accept change. Emotional security is apparently a rare asset and many women dedicate their entireties to men, depending on the love of such men for happiness. Being honest and being bare are also things people don’t seem to do often. Strength is categorized differently by every individual and those closest to you may not necessarily know who you truly are.
I also learned that I strongly disagree with people who claim their lives are more difficult than others’. To each their own, leave them alone. You aren’t better, you aren’t worse. You’re you, they’re them, life is everyone’s curse.
It isn’t my life. It’s not the path I’ve made, nor the one I follow. So why work so hard forging a new path on someone else’s journey? It’s easier for me to sit back and watch you fall (or is it jump?) off a cliff. I’ll even take high quality pictures of you wailing on the way down.
There will be a picnic at the top when you decide it’s time to start climbing back up.
(…What the hell did I write?)